Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
