I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
