If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
