Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
kristin has been a bad kristin
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
