I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
