I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize