I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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