OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
