It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Come share oat with me in your robe
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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