you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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