She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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