Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
