The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
