too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
