I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
