Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
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There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
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I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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