the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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