The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I wish I only lived at night.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
