sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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