VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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