We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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