some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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