True but thats because hes a fetus.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
