No stitches, just platelets and will power
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
