i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
