i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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