Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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