How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
