Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
