Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
As shirtless as possible
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
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