I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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