I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
