ya dads aren't the best wingmen
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
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We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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