Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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