But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
