youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
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soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
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