six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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