I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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