& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I touched a dick in church today
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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