I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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