I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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