is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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