They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
