Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
