She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
