bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
