yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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