You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize