Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
