According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
