3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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