I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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