so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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