Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.