Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
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He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
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We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"