Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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