I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Why are you drunk at the library?