haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one