Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This girl is more easily done than said...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
