Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
