I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
