i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
pop tarts are not kleenex
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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